Choitalyk Ruman's Corner

Category: Life Lesson

  • A Walk, a Friend, and an Unexpected Lesson

    By Choitalyk Ruman


    This evening, I went for a simple walk through my neighborhood. Nothing was planned. It was just me, the quiet sidewalks, and the gentle rhythm of life moving around me. The sky was slowly softening into shades of amber and lavender, as if the day itself was exhaling after a long breath. Porch lights flickered on one by one, birds settled into their final songs, and the world felt unhurried. Sometimes, unplanned walks carry the deepest conversations; both with ourselves and with others.

    As I turned a corner, I saw my friend Anna standing near her driveway, framed by the glow of the setting sun. The light caught the edges of the trees behind her, turning their leaves into quiet flames. We smiled the way people do when they meet unexpectedly, surprised, warm, and familiar. We exchanged greetings, and without realizing it, our casual hellos slowly turned into a conversation that stayed with me long after we parted.

    Anna began telling me a story.

    She spoke about a season in her life when she felt torn between being loved and being respected. She shared how she once believed love alone was enough, that affection, attention, and comforting words could sustain a relationship. For a long time, she tried to make herself smaller, softer, more accommodating, hoping that love would grow stronger if she asked for less. Over time, however, she realized something painful yet profound: love without respect slowly erodes the soul. It leaves you questioning your worth and teaches your heart to accept less than it deserves.

    As she spoke, her voice was calm, but her words carried weight. There was no bitterness in them, only clarity earned through experience. She told me how she had learned to stand her ground, even when it meant disappointing others or walking away from what once felt familiar. Choosing self respect felt lonely at first, she admitted, but it was also freeing. “Respect,” she said softly, “changes how people treat you and how you treat yourself.” In that moment, her words felt less like advice and more like truth offered with kindness.

    We stood there as the evening air cooled our skin. A soft breeze moved through the trees, and the scent of fresh grass lingered around us. Cars passed occasionally, headlights glowing briefly before disappearing into the dusk. Life continued as usual, ordinary and steady. Yet something sacred was unfolding in that small space between us a quiet exchange of wisdom, wrapped in stillness.

    Anna said something that stayed with me.

    “Love that isn’t rooted in respect doesn’t last. But respect can grow into a love that’s real.”

    Her words settled gently, like the night settling over the neighborhood. They felt honest, unforced, and deeply true.

    As we said goodbye and continued on our separate paths, I felt grateful. Not just for the walk, but for the reminder that wisdom often arrives through ordinary moments; through chance encounters, unplanned pauses, and conversations we didn’t know we needed. The streetlights glowed brighter now, guiding the way forward, and I carried her words with me as I walked home.

    Some lessons do not come through books or sermons. They meet us on quiet streets, through honest voices, and in moments when our hearts are open. That evening walk reminded me that choosing self-respect is not an act of pride, but an act of truth. When we honor ourselves, we invite relationships rooted in dignity, depth, and sincerity. And in that soil of respect, love does not merely survive, it matures, deepens, and becomes something that can truly remain.

  • When the Path Becomes Heavy, Remember the Sacred Within

    By Choitalyk Ruman

    There are times when the journey does not simply feel steep, it feels endless. Each step carries the weight of unseen burdens, and the soul grows tired from carrying what was never meant to be carried alone. In such moments, hope does not vanish loudly; it fades in silence. Faith feels distant, and even prayer seems to echo back unanswered.

    When this happens, do not rush forward.
    Pause.
    Turn inward.

    Return to the self that existed before pain taught you how to shrink. The self that once trusted life without needing proof. That earlier self still lives within you; quiet now, perhaps bruised by loss and disappointment, but never destroyed. Waiting. Remembering.

    Life has pressed hard. It has asked you to endure more than you expected. It has shaped you through longing, separation, and unanswered questions. Yet suffering is not proof of failure, it is often the doorway through which wisdom enters.

    In that stillness, another memory rises gently.

    Remember your mother’s voice, the songs sung before the world felt harsh. The warmth that held you before you learned to guard your heart. Those teachings were not small; they were sacred transmissions. They planted roots deep enough to survive storms.

    Never forget who you are.
    Never forget how to fly, butterfly.
    Never forget where you come from.

    You carry a rich lineage, an ancient culture etched into your spirit. Even when the world pressures you to soften your edges or become someone easier to understand, resist. There is no need to abandon your essence to belong.

    Be you.

    The path of becoming is not gentle. It asks for surrender, patience, and trust in the unseen. At times, you may feel cracked open, uncertain, or lost, but this is not the end. This is transformation. Just as the butterfly does not escape the cocoon without struggle, your unfolding requires endurance.

    The cocoon is dark, and the struggle is real. Like the butterfly, you cannot skip the pressure and still learn how to fly. Transformation always feels like loss before it feels like freedom.

    So walk forward gently, not with force, but with remembrance.
    Let suffering refine you, not erase you.
    Let faith return slowly, like dawn after a long night.

    Let suffering soften you, not silence you.
    One day, someone will see you, not as a type, not as a color, not as a version but as a whole human being.

    You are not broken.
    You are becoming.

    You were never rejected by life.
    You were protected from forgetting who you are.

  • A Father’s Profession

    -By Choitalyk Ruman

    One late afternoon, a few colleagues were chatting in the office cafeteria.
    The topic somehow drifted to a simple but profound question
    “Other than our jobs, who are we, really?”

    Someone laughed and said, “I’m an engineer.”
    Another added, “I’m a manager.”
    Someone else proudly said, “A developer.”

    But in one quiet corner sat a man in a plain shirt, smiling gently, saying nothing.

    A young colleague looked at him and asked,
    “Sir, you didn’t say anything. What’s your profession?”

    The man set down his teacup, paused a moment, and softly replied,
    “I’m a builder, I build the future of people.”

    The young man frowned playfully.
    “Oh, do you work in construction?”

    The man smiled and shook his head.
    “No, I work for an organization called Home.
    My ongoing project is my child.
    Every day I lay bricks in his dreams, paint colors in his character,
    and teach him how to stand tall, even when life breaks him down.”

    The sounds of the cafeteria slowly faded.
    Everyone went silent.

    The young man’s eyes softened —
    he suddenly saw his own father,
    the man who always said, ‘I’m fine,’
    even when exhaustion and sacrifice lined his face.
    The man who quietly folded away his own dreams
    so his children’s could take flight.

    The father finished his tea and stood up.
    “My title at work may be small,” he said with a gentle smile,
    “but my life’s title. ” Father “
    that’s the greatest honor I’ve ever held.”

    No one spoke.
    Only silence filled the room
    a silence that carried a truth too deep for words:

    Being a father is the world’s quietest yet most noble profession.

    #ChoitalykRuman, #ummeymiah

    11/01/2025

  • A Thought from My Journey

    By Choitalyk Ruman

    I once thought that if I wished hard enough, life would somehow change on its own. I used to close my eyes, whisper my hopes to the stars, and wait for something magical to happen. But as time passed, I realized that wishes alone don’t move mountains, decisions and actions do.

    A wish is like a candle; it glows beautifully for a moment, but it takes commitment and courage to turn that flicker of light into a flame that truly brightens your path.

    There was a period in my life when I kept waiting ; waiting for the “right moment,” the “perfect time,” or for something to magically fall into place. I kept saying, “Maybe tomorrow.” But one day, I asked myself ,What if tomorrow never comes?

    That question changed everything.

    That’s when I learned to connect life with my days, not just count my days and call it life. Each sunrise became a reminder that I have another chance to do something meaningful  to love, to forgive, to grow, to simply be.

    And as I started to live with more awareness, I also began to understand the true value of people  those who walk beside you quietly, those who listen when you need to talk, those who show up when you least expect but most need it.

    I used to think love was about big gestures  grand words, fancy gifts, and perfect moments. But now, I’d rather have one rose, or even a wildflower from the side of the road, handed to me with genuine care. I’d rather have a friend say, “I’m proud of you,” or “I’m here,” while I’m still here to smile back and say thank you.

    Because love, appreciation, and kindness mean the most when they are given while we are alive to feel them.

    So now, I cherish every person who gives me their time, their love, their care, and their attention. Life has taught me that the most valuable gifts aren’t wrapped  they’re felt.

    If I could give one piece of advice from my own journey, it would be this:
    Don’t just wish for change  decide, and then take one small step every day toward it. Don’t wait for a special day to say kind words today is already special.

    Every sunrise is a new beginning, and every kind heart that crosses your path is a blessing.

    To everyone who has shared even a small part of my journey  thank you. You’ve been a light in my story, and I appreciate you more than words can say.

    With love and gratitude,
    Just saying… life is short  live it with heart.

  • The Time Trick

    By Choitalyk Ruman

    Have you ever received a gift card for your birthday? Now, imagine it’s loaded with a million dollars! You’d probably think, “Wow! I’ll save this for something really special.”

    But what if that gift card slowly lost money every day? And what if you never knew the exact day it would stop working? Would you still wait to use it?

    That’s exactly how time works.

    Why We Keep Waiting

    When we’re young, it feels like time is endless. You might catch yourself thinking things like:

    “I’ll learn to play the drums when I’m older.”

    “I’ll visit my grandparents more next summer.”

    “I’ll start that art project someday.”

    This is what I call the Time Trick (or Time Illusion). It tricks us into believing we can always do the important things later because there’s plenty of time.

    The Reality

    Here’s the truth nobody often says: We never really know how much time we have. Life can change in a heartbeat. You might get busier. Friends may move away. That “perfect moment” you’re waiting for might never come.

    This isn’t a reason to stop dreaming, planning, or working toward the future. It’s a reminder to balance your tomorrow with today. You can build your future while actually living in the present.

    A Small Challenge

    1. Write down three things you keep saying “someday” about.
      Maybe it’s:

    Learning to bake cookies

    Writing a story

    Calling a friend you miss

    Building something creative

    1. Pick one small thing you can start easily. No money, no fancy tools required.
    2. Set a day this week to begin. Even just 15 minutes counts!

    You can plan for the future without putting life on hold today. The best time to start something meaningful is right now.

    So, what’s one “someday” thing you could begin this week?

    #ChoitalykRuman ,#ummeymiah

  • The Story of a Woman Named Tahura

    By Choitalyk Ruman

    I have a friend named Tahura. Full name was Tahura Parvin. For as long as I can remember, she had been searching for love. She always believed that somewhere out there was someone who would make her whole, someone who could finally fill the emptiness she often felt inside.

    But over time, she began to notice something. Attraction was not love-it could appear quickly and just as quickly fade away. Longing was not love either — it was only temporary. The rush of excitement, the nervous energy, even the sweetest promises — all of these, too, could change or break with time.

    After many rises and falls in her life, one evening Tahura had a realization. Love was never outside of her. Love was not a thing to be given or taken, but a quiet field within her, always present. In that field lived joy and sorrow, hope and despair, beginnings and endings. Relationships might stay or dissolve, people might come and go — but the field itself never disappeared.

    She understood then: no one had ever “given” her love. In truth, she had only touched her own vastness when she was with another, and then she had mistakenly credited them for it. And when she thought love was gone, it hadn’t actually left — she had simply forgotten the field within. Love, she saw, was like the ocean, unchanged beneath the rise and fall of waves.

    Today, Tahura no longer searches for love outside herself. She has learned to live as the light. Instead of clinging to another’s affection, she finds joy in giving love freely. Her greatest discovery has been this: what she longed for all along was already inside her.

    With a gentle smile she often says,
    “The search begins and ends in the same place — in presence. I realized that I am love itself, and once I knew that, everything changed.

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    Copyright © 2025 ChoitalykRuman (Ummey R Miah).
    All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means — including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods — without the prior written permission of the copyright owner, except in the case of brief quotations used in reviews or scholarly works.

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    Copyright © 2025 Choitalyk Ruman (Ummey R Miah).??????? ?????
    All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means — including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods — without the prior written permission of the copyright owner, except in the case of brief quotations used in reviews or scholarly works.

  • Cornfields and Cattle: Lessons That Still Live

    By Choitalyk Ruman

    I had just returned to my hotel room in Dayton, Ohio, after a long day of official work. I stopped in the lobby for a quick coffee, and a woman sat down in the chair next to me. What started as casual small talk about travel and family soon turned warm and friendly. Her husband and children were at the pool, and while they swam, she began telling me about her grandmother’s farm back in Dayton.

    “Grandma had acres of cornfields that stretched toward the horizon,” she said, her voice soft and nostalgic. “Cattle grazed in the pastures, and the family supplied milk to the local store and meat to the community. It was hard work, but steady, honest, and full of care.”

    As she spoke, I could almost see it: the green stalks swaying in the Ohio breeze, the lowing of cows at dusk, the smell of fresh hay in the barn. She smiled as she remembered riding the tractor with her grandmother, listening to her say, “Life is like the harvest. You plant, you wait, you tend — and when the season is right, it gives back.”

    I listened quietly, feeling the weight of her memories. I had never known my own grandparents — my grandmother passed away when my father was just seven — so I had no fields, no barns, no hands to guide me through lessons of patience and care. Yet as I sat there, absorbing hers, it felt as if I were touching a fragment of the love and wisdom I had missed.

    She looked at me with a gentle smile. “Every time I see a cornfield,” she said, “I think of her. She didn’t just raise crops and cattle — she raised us, with patience and care.”

    In that hotel lobby, with the faint laughter of her children drifting in from the pool, I realized the quiet power of stories. Even when they aren’t our own, they bridge absence, loss, and distance, carrying lessons of patience, love, and life across generations.

    -ChoitalykRuman #ummeymiah

    2025 ChoitalykRuman (Ummey R Miah). All rights reserved.

  • Seasons of the Soul: Every stage of life holds its own light.

    By Choitalyk Ruman

    It’s a beautiful Saturday morning. The sun spills across the earth in golden rays, and autumn leaves glow like fire-tipped candles dancing in the breeze. The crisp air clears my thoughts, and I feel my body, mind, and soul awaken in harmony. Driving slowly, I gather the beauty around me as inspiration. Then, as if touched by the wind, my mind drifts back to the stages of life—each one like a season, each one with its own light.

    Childhood – The Spring ?
    Childhood is the spring of life—fresh, green, and bursting with promise. Days feel endless, stretching like wide meadows filled with laughter and play. We chase butterflies, build castles out of sand, and dream under the sky, believing the world is nothing but magic. Just as spring awakens the earth, childhood awakens the heart with wonder and curiosity.

    Young Adulthood – The Summer 😕
    Young adulthood is summer—bright, bold, and alive with energy. The world feels wide open, like a sunlit horizon waiting to be explored. We dream fiercely, chase love, build homes, and carve paths with passion. Days run short because they are overflowing—with work, ambition, adventure, and joy. Just as summer asks the earth to grow strong and flourish, young adulthood asks us to be brave, to step into our power, and to shine.

    Middle Age – The Autumn ?
    Middle age arrives like autumn, full of richness, yet touched with change. Our lives carry many colors—family, responsibilities, achievements, and lessons learned. We balance caring for children with guiding our parents, juggling dreams with duties. Time moves faster, like leaves falling in the breeze, reminding us that nothing stays forever. Yet autumn is not only about endings—it is about abundance. The lines on our faces are not losses but harvests, proof of all the love we’ve sown and the wisdom we’ve gathered. Autumn teaches balance and reflection.

    Old Age – The Winter ??
    Old age is winter—quiet, gentle, and filled with deep peace. The world slows down, and the noise fades. Houses grow quieter, yet hearts grow fuller, holding memories like treasures. We sit by windows or on porches, watching seasons turn, knowing we’ve walked through them all. Just as winter holds the earth in stillness, old age teaches us gratitude—thankfulness for love shared, for battles fought, for moments lived. Wrinkles become the poetry of time, and silence becomes a friend.

    Childhood (Spring) gives us wonder.
    – Young adulthood (Summer) teaches courage.
    – Middle age (Autumn) shows balance.
    – Old age (Winter) reminds us to be grateful.

    The beauty of life is that each season prepares us for the next.

    And now, as I drive on this golden Saturday morning, surrounded by autumn’s glowing beauty, I realize how perfectly the seasons of nature mirror the seasons of life. The trees remind me that change is not loss—it is transformation. The golden leaves remind me that even endings can shine. And the sunlight pouring over the road reminds me that no matter the stage, life always offers light.

    So wherever you are—whether in the bloom of spring, the fire of summer, the harvest of autumn, or the stillness of winter—walk gently. Carry an open heart. Leave behind love, kindness, and memories that will outlast the turning of every season.

    Because just like this golden autumn day, every stage of life is a gift.

    #ChoitalykRuman ##ummeymiah

    2025 ChoitalykRuman (Ummey R Miah). All rights reserved.

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    2025 ChoitalykRuman (Ummey R Miah). All rights reserved.