Choitalyk Ruman's Corner

Tag: healing

  • When Life Feels Heavy, Gratitude Brings the Light Bac

    By Choitalyk Ruman

    For a long time, I used to think gratitude simply meant saying thank you. Someone helps you , you thank them. Something good happens , you express appreciation. Simple.

    But life, in its quiet and often difficult way, taught me something deeper: gratitude isn’t just a polite response. It’s a way of seeing. A way of living.

    We all go through days that feel impossibly heavy , when the air itself feels thick, and even ordinary tasks take too much energy. You wake up, sip your coffee, stare at the same walls, and wonder, “When will this feeling pass?”

    Have you ever had one of those mornings ; when nothing feels right, when even the light outside seems dull?

    I remember one of those times vividly. Everything in my life seemed to crumble at once ; plans failed, relationships shifted, and I couldn’t see any way forward. I was just… surviving.

    One morning, I heard a bird singing outside my window. Nothing special, it was a sound I’d heard a thousand times before. But that day, it stopped me. It felt like a tiny reminder whispering, “Not everything is broken.”

    And that’s when I began to understand:
    Gratitude isn’t about ignoring the hard things. It’s about recognizing the light that still exists , even when the world feels dim.

    When we start noticing the small things ;the warm cup of tea in our hands, a message from a friend, the sound of laughter nearby , something shifts inside us. The sharp edges of pain begin to soften. The world doesn’t change, but our eyes do.

    Gratitude doesn’t mean pretending life is perfect. It means realizing that even in imperfection, there is beauty. Even when something ends, something else quietly begins.

    Some days, gratitude is just a whisper:
    “I’m still here.”
    “I still have something to hold onto.”

    And that whisper is enough to keep us moving forward.

    So, take a moment today.
    Pause. Look around.
    Maybe your reason to smile is already right there , in the morning light, in the smell of fresh rain, or in someone’s gentle presence.

    Beauty never truly disappears.
    It just waits , patiently , for us to notice it again.

    What are three things you feel grateful for today?

    1. When was the last time a small moment changed your mood completely?
    2. Has gratitude ever helped you see something painful in a new light?

    Share your thoughts in the coments, your story might be the light someone else needs today..

  • Gratitude Changes Our Whole Perspective

    By Choitalyk Ruman

    There are days when everything feels heavy , like the air itself is thicker, and even simple things take more effort. You wake up, make your coffee, and wonder how to hold it all together. Yet, sometimes, in the middle of that quiet struggle, a small reminder appears , a bird’s song outside your window, the way the morning light spills across the floor, or a kind word from someone you didn’t expect.

    It’s strange how gratitude often hides in those tiny, ordinary things. It doesn’t ask us to ignore what hurts. It doesn’t magically fix the hard parts of life. But it does something gentler , it changes the way we see.

    When we start paying attention to what’s still good, even if it’s small, the sharp edges of pain soften a bit. The world feels a little less gray. We remember that loss and love can live side by side, that sadness can share space with wonder. Gratitude doesn’t erase the darkness, but it reminds us that light still exists and it’s closer than we think.

    Sometimes, gratitude is just whispering, “I’m still here. I still have something.” It’s realizing that even when plans fall apart, or people drift away, there are still reasons  however fragile  to keep believing in life’s goodness.

    So today, pause for a second. Look around.
    Maybe your reason to smile is sitting quietly right in front of you  a familiar smell, a memory, a small kindness.

    The truth is, beauty never fully disappears. It just waits for us to notice it again.

  • When Loneliness Wears a Mask

    By ChoitalykRuman

    There were times in my life when I was never technically “alone”—but I had never felt lonelier.

    I remember standing in gatherings where the room was alive with conversations, laughter, and people I’d known for years. Yet, something inside me felt disconnected, almost invisible. Everyone was talking, but none of their words reached the parts of me that longed to be understood. I smiled. I nodded. I answered questions. I played my role. But deep down, I felt like I was slowly fading—like I was becoming a ghost in a room full of people.

    That’s the kind of loneliness no one prepares you for. It’s not the kind where you’re physically by yourself; it’s the kind where you’re emotionally abandoned while being surrounded. It’s the ache of being misunderstood—not for what you do, but for who you are.

    I’ve always been someone who feels deeply, who notices the small things, who searches for meaning behind the words people say. But in a world that often moves too fast to notice the quiet ones, I became a background presence. Not because I had nothing to say, but because I rarely found people who genuinely wanted to listen—not just to my words, but to my truth.

    There were days when I questioned my own presence. Did anyone see me for who I really was? Or was I just a reflection of what they wanted to see? In that kind of isolation, you begin to shrink. You stop sharing. You stop hoping to be seen. And slowly, you start to vanish—even from yourself.

    But here’s what I’ve come to realize through that experience:

    There’s immense power in acknowledging your own presence, even when others don’t. The journey back from that emotional invisibility started when I stopped waiting for others to validate me. I began to rediscover my voice—not the voice others expected, but the one that had been silenced inside me for too long.

    I turned to writing, to reflection, to prayer. I walked in nature, sat under the sky, and allowed the wind to carry away the dust of doubt that had settled on my soul. Slowly, I began to return to myself.

    And if you’ve ever felt like a stranger in your own story, I want you to know: you’re not alone. The world may not always understand your depth, but that doesn’t make your depth any less real. Your truth is not defined by how many people see it—it’s defined by how honestly you live it.

    So to those who feel like shadows in crowded rooms: I see you. I was you. And I’m here to remind you—you’re not fading. You’re becoming. Even in the quietest corners, your soul is still glowing.

    • #ChoitUmmeyMiah 8/1/2025

    © ChoitalykRuman, 2025. All rights reserved.
    This content is the intellectual property of the author. Unauthorized use, reproduction, or distribution is strictly prohibited. You may share the link with proper credit.

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  • Things Would Be Different If You Loved Yourself

    Have you ever wondered how your life would change if you truly, deeply loved yourself? Not just in fleeting moments of confidence, but consistently in every corner of your being. What if, instead of critiquing, comparing, or rejecting parts of yourself, you chose love? The truth is, things would be different—beautifully, profoundly different.

    When we give love to the broken, neglected, or wounded parts of ourselves, something incredible happens: they begin to heal. It really is that simple. Love is a balm, a restorative force that doesn’t demand perfection or achievement. It simply asks for presence. In that space of loving presence, our inner fractures start to mend, gently and steadily.

    Yet, many of us carry burdens of remorse, guilt, or shame. We mistakenly believe these emotions are necessary to prove our sincerity or to earn redemption. But in reality, these heavy emotions have no place in the healing process. They keep us trapped in cycles of self-punishment, blocking the very love we need to break free. Healing comes when we shift our inner gaze from judgment to compassion, from criticism to kindness.

    When we begin to look at ourselves and the world with love, acceptance, and compassion, everything changes. Our perception softens. We stop seeing ourselves as problems to fix and start recognizing the wholeness that was always there, waiting to be acknowledged. The world itself takes on a different hue, and what once felt harsh or overwhelming becomes manageable, even beautiful.

    At the heart of this transformation lies a vital question: How do you perceive yourself? This is the key. You won’t find peace, fulfillment, or joy if you’re constantly searching outside yourself, hoping to stumble upon the missing piece. As long as you believe that love or worth is something to be earned or proven, you’ll keep chasing shadows. But if you choose love—love for yourself, exactly as you are in this moment—then love chooses you back. Love flows in and fills the spaces you once thought were unworthy.

    Instead of striving to be good enough, perfect, coordinated, or wise, try something radical: love the parts of yourself you usually reject. Love your awkwardness, your doubts, your flaws, your quirks. Give those neglected parts your tender attention. This is how you complete yourself. This is how you stop falling into the traps set by the false self—the self that believes worthiness comes from external validation or achievements.

    Here’s the secret: the qualities you dislike about yourself aren’t actually who you truly are. They are passing expressions, conditioned responses, misunderstood aspects shaped by experience. They are not your essence. When you embrace this truth, it becomes much easier to return to your authentic state of love. You realize you don’t need to fight, hide, or deny these parts. You only need to love them.

    For example, imagine standing in front of the mirror one morning, feeling disappointed by the reflection staring back at you. Maybe you see wrinkles, extra weight, or tired eyes. But instead of sighing or criticizing, you softly smile and say, “I love you. I love every line, every curve, every imperfection.” It might feel strange at first. But as you repeat this practice, day by day, you notice something shifting. The critical voice grows quieter. The burden of needing to “fix” yourself lightens. You begin to carry yourself differently—with more grace, more confidence, more warmth. And that shift ripples outward: your relationships feel more authentic, your work feels more inspired, your days feel more peaceful.

    So reach deep inside. Let out all the love that’s already there. It’s been waiting patiently, buried beneath layers of self-judgment and doubt. Let that love rise to the surface. Accept the happiness that wants to find you, without grasping, forcing, or controlling it. Allow it to unfold naturally, like a flower turning toward the sun.

    You are already whole. You are already enough. When you love yourself, everything shifts. Your relationships transform. Your outlook expands. Your path becomes clearer. Love opens doors that effort and striving never could.

    Things would be different if you loved yourself.

    Are you ready to find out just how different they could be?

    Written by #ChoitalykRuman  5/5/2025

    #UmmeyMiah

  • Where You Focus, You Grow

    Life has its ups and downs—there’s no escaping that. You’ll face difficulties, moments of sorrow, and times when things don’t go your way. That’s just part of the journey. But where you choose to place your focus can make all the difference.

    I remember a time when I felt completely overwhelmed. It was a few years ago, and everything seemed to be falling apart at once. Work was stressful, my personal life felt uncertain, and I was struggling to keep up. One evening, I sat alone, staring at the walls of my small apartment, feeling exhausted and drained. My mind was filled with worries—”What if things don’t get better? What if I fail? What if this heaviness never lifts?”

    The more I focused on these thoughts, the heavier they became. I lost sleep, I lost motivation, and worst of all, I lost sight of the beauty around me. My world felt gray, as if all the light had faded.

    Then, one afternoon, something shifted. I was walking through a nearby park, lost in my worries, when I noticed a little girl running ahead of her mother. She stopped suddenly, crouched down, and marveled at something on the ground. Curious, I slowed my pace and looked closer. It was a tiny yellow flower, growing through a crack in the pavement.

    I don’t know why, but in that moment, something clicked. That little flower had found a way to bloom despite its harsh surroundings. It didn’t wait for perfect conditions; it grew right where it was. And if a flower could do that, why couldn’t I?

    That evening, instead of focusing on my problems, I made a small shift. I asked myself, What have I learned from this struggle? How have I grown? What in my life, right now, is still beautiful? I started keeping a journal, writing down one thing each day that I was grateful for, no matter how small.

    Some days, it was just the sound of rain on my window or a kind word from a stranger. Other days, it was a deep realization about myself—how I had become stronger, more patient, more understanding. The more I focused on these moments, the lighter I felt. My problems didn’t magically disappear, but they no longer consumed me. Instead of draining me, they became stepping stones for my growth.

    That’s the power of focus. If you constantly dwell on your problems, they start to feel bigger, heavier, and more consuming. But if you shift your attention to what you’re learning and the beauty that still exists, you’ll begin to see life differently.

    Challenges come with lessons—lessons that make you wiser, stronger, and more resilient. Every hardship holds a hidden gift, a chance for growth, if you choose to see it. Instead of letting difficulties steal your joy, allow them to shape you into a better version of yourself.

    Life is a balance. Nothing lasts forever—not the good times, but also not the bad ones. So, in the midst of your struggles, don’t forget to acknowledge the blessings you still have. Look around and find something to be grateful for, even in the smallest details. Gratitude shifts your perspective, allowing you to see life’s gifts more clearly.

    And here’s the beautiful thing: when you focus on the good, you naturally open yourself up to more goodness. You become more creative, more courageous, and more inspired. Your energy flows where your attention goes. So why not direct it toward something that uplifts you?

    Let life teach you, not break you. Trust in the process, find joy in the present, and keep your heart open to all the beauty still unfolding.

    –#ChoitalykRuman  3/20/2025 10:11PM

  • Finding Strength and Peace in Uncertain Times

    There is no doubt that the COVID-19 pandemic has shaken the world, filling many hearts with fear and uncertainty. However, rather than allowing worry to consume us, we can choose to channel our energy into something far more meaningful—healing. Our planet, our communities, and even our own inner world are in need of healing now more than ever. Fear weakens us, while faith strengthens us. At this moment, we have the choice to either panic or trust that everything is unfolding according to a higher plan.

    This moment in time has given us a unique opportunity: a chance to pause. Instead of dwelling on fear, let’s embrace stillness and use this time to reflect, pray, and send love to Mother Earth. The world moves so fast that we often forget to nurture the very essence of life around us. Now, as we are asked to stay home, let’s use this period wisely—to reconnect with God, to uplift others with our prayers, and to send out healing energy. Each one of us can contribute to a positive shift simply by focusing on love and compassion rather than fear.

    Blame will not serve us. Pointing fingers and fueling division will not bring solutions, only more distress. What will truly make a difference is our collective intention to heal and support one another. Let us replace blame with prayer, fear with faith, and doubt with trust. With God, nothing is impossible. If we focus on the good, even in times of crisis, we become part of the healing process rather than the problem. Now is the time to unite, to lift each other up, and to choose hope over despair.

    Moreover, this pandemic is a reminder of life’s fragility. It has shown us how interconnected we all are and how important it is to appreciate the little things—breathing fresh air, sharing laughter with loved ones, and feeling the warmth of the sun on our skin. Life is fleeting, a precious gift given to us with each breath we take. Why waste it in fear? Instead, let’s fill our days with gratitude and purpose. Every step we take, every action we perform, can be a dedication to our Creator. True happiness does not come from control over circumstances but from trust in God’s wisdom and the ability to surrender to His divine plan.

    So, let us not be afraid. Let us be cautious, yes, but not consumed by fear. Instead, let’s embody courage, faith, and wisdom. This too shall pass, and when it does, may we emerge from it stronger, more compassionate, and more deeply connected to the essence of life itself. Let’s use this time to become more mindful, to nurture our souls, and to strengthen our connection with the Divine. Trust the process, and remember—you are never alone. Even in the darkest times, light is always present for those who seek it.-

    -#ChoitalykRuman 03/11/2025

    #UmmeyMiah

  • Healing After Trauma: A Path to Natural Forgiveness

    When life deals us profound trauma, it’s common to hear advice like, “You need to forgive to move on.” But let’s be honest—how can you even think about forgiveness when the pain still feels raw and overwhelming? It’s not that forgiveness doesn’t have value, but when you’ve been deeply hurt, it shouldn’t be the first step. Healing must come first.

    Forgiveness is often seen as the ultimate goal, but expecting it too soon can feel like putting a bandage on a wound that hasn’t been cleaned. Healing after trauma isn’t about rushing to forgive; it’s about tending to your pain, understanding what you’ve been through, and creating a life that feels safe, loving, and whole again.

    Sarah’s Story

    Let me share a story to show how this works in real life.

    Sarah was a vibrant, outgoing woman who loved deeply and trusted fully. But one day, her world came crashing down when her closest friend, Emily, betrayed her trust in the most painful way. Emily had spread deeply personal information about Sarah to others, leading to humiliation and shattered relationships. Sarah felt blindsided, hurt, and hollow.

    At first, everyone told Sarah she needed to forgive Emily and move on. “It’s the right thing to do,” they said. But Sarah wasn’t ready. Every time she thought about forgiveness, it felt like she was being asked to pretend the pain didn’t exist. So instead, she chose a different path: healing.

    Sarah began focusing on herself. She joined a local yoga group where she found a sense of peace and community. She started journaling, pouring her thoughts and emotions onto the page. And slowly, she began reconnecting with new people who valued her for who she was.

    One day, while walking in the park, Sarah noticed something remarkable. The bitterness and anger she’d been carrying toward Emily weren’t as heavy anymore. In its place was a sense of calm. It wasn’t that Sarah excused what Emily had done, but she no longer felt trapped by the betrayal. Forgiveness, she realized, had found her—not because she forced it but because her heart had begun to heal.

    Why Healing Matters First

    Like Sarah, when someone deeply hurts us, it can shake our sense of self, safety, and trust. Healing isn’t just about moving past the event—it’s about tending to the emotional wounds it leaves behind. These scars can impact how we see ourselves and the world. Healing is about gently working through those scars and reclaiming your inner strength.

    For example, if your trauma left you feeling unloved or unworthy, healing might look like finding people or experiences that remind you of your value. If it left you feeling unsafe, healing might involve building a life where you feel protected and secure.

    This process is essential because it’s hard to forgive when you’re still in survival mode. It’s hard to release anger or resentment when you haven’t yet rebuilt the parts of yourself that were hurt. Healing is the foundation upon which forgiveness can stand.

    The Power of Opposites

    One of the most effective ways to heal is to seek out the opposite of the harm you experienced. If someone’s actions made you feel isolated, surround yourself with love and connection. If their words made you feel small or powerless, take steps to regain your confidence and autonomy.

    This doesn’t erase the pain, but it creates balance. It teaches your mind and heart that while the world can be harsh, it can also be kind. You’re reminding yourself that you’re not defined by what happened to you.

    When Forgiveness Comes Naturally

    As you heal, something remarkable begins to happen. The pain that once felt overwhelming starts to fade. The anger that consumed you might feel less sharp. The resentment might not hold as much weight.

    And forgiveness? It often arises naturally—not as an act of will but as a byproduct of your inner peace. When the chaos within you settles, forgiveness can feel less like a task and more like a gift you give to yourself.

    Give Yourself Time

    Healing isn’t a straight path—it’s more like a winding road with moments of progress and setbacks. And that’s okay. Each step you take toward love, safety, and resolve is a victory.

    Remember, forgiveness isn’t a requirement for healing; it’s often a gift that healing brings. So focus on what you need right now—peace, strength, and hope. Like Sarah, you’ll find that the rest will come in its own time.

    Your journey is your own, and you have the strength to walk it.

    -#ChoitalykRuman

    #UmmeyMiah

  • Forgiveness: A Journey to Healing and Limitless Love

    Today, I made a powerful decision that I believe will transform my life: I have decided to forgive everyone who has ever wronged me. This is not merely a statement but a profound commitment to releasing the unresolved anger and pain that have burdened my heart for too long. By choosing forgiveness, I am allowing my heart to heal and move forward, unshackled by the chains of past hurts.

    Forgiveness is not about condoning the actions of those who have hurt me. It’s about freeing myself from the negative emotions that hold me back. Regardless of how they have treated me, I choose to offer my love to all who are in need, including those who have caused me pain. This act of love is not conditional but universal, encompassing both those who cherish me and those who have yet to recognize the beauty of compassion and love.

    In extending my love to those who have hurt me, I am not only facilitating my own healing but also contributing to theirs. Love has a remarkable ability to heal wounds and bridge divides. By offering my love freely, I am creating a ripple effect of positivity and healing that can touch the lives of many.

    This journey of forgiveness and love is not always easy, but it is profoundly rewarding. My love is limitless, and I am committed to sharing it with everyone, regardless of their actions. Through this commitment, I hope to inspire others to embrace forgiveness and love as powerful tools for personal and collective healing.

    The Healing Power of Forgiveness:

    Forgiveness is a powerful healing tool. When we hold onto anger and resentment, we carry a heavy burden that impacts our emotional and physical well-being. Studies have shown that forgiving others can lead to reduced stress, lower blood pressure, and improved mental health. By letting go of past grievances, we open ourselves up to a future filled with peace and emotional freedom. Forgiveness allows us to move forward unencumbered by the weight of the past, paving the way for personal growth and a brighter future.

    Creating Boundaries with Compassion:

    Forgiving someone does not mean that we allow them to continue hurting us. It’s important to establish healthy boundaries that protect our well-being while still offering our compassion. Boundaries are essential for maintaining our mental and emotional health. They help us define what is acceptable behavior and what is not, ensuring that we do not fall back into harmful patterns. By forgiving with boundaries, we demonstrate self-respect and teach others how to treat us with the respect we deserve. This balance of forgiveness and self-protection fosters healthier relationships and a stronger sense of self-worth

    The Ripple Effect of Love :

    Love has the power to transform not only our lives but also the lives of those around us. When we choose to love unconditionally, even those who have wronged us, we create a ripple effect that can inspire change and healing in others. Our acts of love and kindness can influence others to reflect on their actions and perhaps choose a path of compassion themselves. By being a source of love and forgiveness, we contribute to a more compassionate and understanding world. This ripple effect can lead to a community where people feel valued and supported, fostering a culture of empathy and mutual respect.

    Forgiveness and love are not just lofty ideals but practical steps we can take to improve our lives and the lives of those around us. By choosing to forgive and extend love, we can create a more compassionate and connected world. Join me on this journey and let’s make a difference together.

    ‘- ChoitalykRuman

    8/7/2024  1:45 am

    #ChoitalykRuman

  • Finding Light in the Darkness: Trusting the Journey of Life”

    Photo captured by me . Location Cameron Park

    There was a time in my life when everything felt heavy, like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Nothing seemed to go right, and no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t shake the feeling of being trapped in a cycle of pain and disappointment. I questioned everything—my purpose, my worth, even the reason for my existence. I felt lost, as if I were standing in the middle of a storm with no shelter in sight.

    One evening, lost in my thoughts, I stepped outside and looked up at the sky. The vastness of it took my breath away. It wasn’t just an empty space; it was alive with shifting clouds, twinkling stars, and the gentle glow of the moon. I realized that even the sky has its storms—moments of darkness and turbulence—but it also holds breathtaking sunrises, golden sunsets, and clear, peaceful nights. And isn’t that just like life? The ups and downs, the storms and the stillness—they all have their place in our journey. I began to understand that pain wasn’t a punishment; it was part of the process, shaping me into someone stronger, more compassionate, and more in tune with the deeper meaning of existence.

    As I stood there, staring at the vast sky, something inside me shifted. For so long, I had been consumed by the struggles in my life, focusing only on what was going wrong. I had forgotten to notice the small miracles happening all around me—the way the wind carried the scent of fresh earth after rain, the way birds still found a reason to sing at dawn, the way a single star could pierce through the deepest darkness. These little moments were reminders that life wasn’t just about hardship. It was about contrast—the sorrow and the joy, the loss and the renewal, the questions and the revelations.

    I started to reflect on my past, on all the moments I thought I wouldn’t survive. There were days when I was sure I had lost everything—days when the pain of failure, heartbreak, and uncertainty made me feel like I was drowning. But somehow, I made it through. And looking back, I realized that every struggle had shaped me, every challenge had taught me, and every delay had its own purpose. The hardest moments weren’t meant to break me; they were molding me into someone stronger, someone wiser. And perhaps, just like the sky after a storm, my life, too, was preparing for a clearer, brighter season.

    That night, as I whispered a quiet prayer, I didn’t ask for all my problems to disappear. Instead, I asked for strength, for patience, and for the clarity to see the beauty in my journey. And that’s what I want to share with you—no matter how lost or weary you feel right now, your story isn’t over. You are evolving, growing, and becoming. The pain you feel today is not the end; it’s a chapter in a much greater book, one that still has pages filled with love, hope, and new beginnings. Trust the process, embrace the journey, and know that even in the darkest nights, the stars are still shining for you.

    #ChoitalykRuman