Choitalyk Ruman's Corner

Tag: self-discovery

  • When Loneliness Wears a Mask

    By ChoitalykRuman

    There were times in my life when I was never technically “alone”—but I had never felt lonelier.

    I remember standing in gatherings where the room was alive with conversations, laughter, and people I’d known for years. Yet, something inside me felt disconnected, almost invisible. Everyone was talking, but none of their words reached the parts of me that longed to be understood. I smiled. I nodded. I answered questions. I played my role. But deep down, I felt like I was slowly fading—like I was becoming a ghost in a room full of people.

    That’s the kind of loneliness no one prepares you for. It’s not the kind where you’re physically by yourself; it’s the kind where you’re emotionally abandoned while being surrounded. It’s the ache of being misunderstood—not for what you do, but for who you are.

    I’ve always been someone who feels deeply, who notices the small things, who searches for meaning behind the words people say. But in a world that often moves too fast to notice the quiet ones, I became a background presence. Not because I had nothing to say, but because I rarely found people who genuinely wanted to listen—not just to my words, but to my truth.

    There were days when I questioned my own presence. Did anyone see me for who I really was? Or was I just a reflection of what they wanted to see? In that kind of isolation, you begin to shrink. You stop sharing. You stop hoping to be seen. And slowly, you start to vanish—even from yourself.

    But here’s what I’ve come to realize through that experience:

    There’s immense power in acknowledging your own presence, even when others don’t. The journey back from that emotional invisibility started when I stopped waiting for others to validate me. I began to rediscover my voice—not the voice others expected, but the one that had been silenced inside me for too long.

    I turned to writing, to reflection, to prayer. I walked in nature, sat under the sky, and allowed the wind to carry away the dust of doubt that had settled on my soul. Slowly, I began to return to myself.

    And if you’ve ever felt like a stranger in your own story, I want you to know: you’re not alone. The world may not always understand your depth, but that doesn’t make your depth any less real. Your truth is not defined by how many people see it—it’s defined by how honestly you live it.

    So to those who feel like shadows in crowded rooms: I see you. I was you. And I’m here to remind you—you’re not fading. You’re becoming. Even in the quietest corners, your soul is still glowing.

    • #ChoitUmmeyMiah 8/1/2025

    © ChoitalykRuman, 2025. All rights reserved.
    This content is the intellectual property of the author. Unauthorized use, reproduction, or distribution is strictly prohibited. You may share the link with proper credit.

    Bengali (?????):

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  • When Growth Feels Like Grief: Being Seen for Who You Were, Not Who You Are

    By ChoitalykRuman

    In letting go, you lose the pieces that weren’t really you—and in the space that’s left, you begin to return to yourself.”

    There’s a quiet sadness that sometimes trails behind growth. It doesn’t always shout, but it lingers like a shadow—especially when you realize some people still relate to a version of you that no longer exists.

    As we heal, we begin to show up differently. We stop twisting ourselves to fit into places we’ve outgrown. We let go of the masks we wore to keep others comfortable. We no longer shrink, overextend, or pretend just to keep the peace.

    The journey toward emotional wholeness is not just about becoming healthier—it’s about unlearning who we thought we had to be. I’ve peeled away years of patterns: perfectionism, over-functioning, emotional caretaking. In doing so, I found someone I hadn’t known in a long time—me.

    But as I changed, the cast around me shifted. Relationships built on unspoken rules—rules I once upheld through silence or self-abandonment—began to fall apart. The script was no longer working, and I wasn’t playing my old part. And that shift, while liberating, brought with it a particular kind of loss.

    Because even now, I sometimes find myself standing before someone who only sees the version of me that used to perform. The one who never said “no.” The one who showed up, gave, and rarely asked for anything in return. They look at me and wait for her. But she’s gone.

    And yet, I understand. Change unsettles people—especially when they weren’t expecting it. Especially when that change means you are no longer easy to access or easy to mold.

    What’s hardest is when these are people you once loved deeply—who may still love you, but only in the ways you used to make yourself small. People who were comfortable with your compliance, not your clarity.

    Still, the grace of healing isn’t about dragging others along or proving who we’ve become. It’s about standing as we are—authentically, openly—without needing to defend it. It’s about choosing truth over approval, even when others resist the shift.

    That’s where grief enters: not just for lost connections, but for the unspoken hopes that one day they’d really see us. Grief for the versions of ourselves that survived by performing. Grief for how many years we traded our needs for belonging.

    But also—there is strength here. Because when you stop performing, you start living. Not for applause. Not for validation. But from the inside out.

    And even when that leads to misunderstandings or emotional distance, it also leads to sovereignty—the grounded knowing that we can stand in our truth, even if others don’t clap or come closer.

    We stop curating ourselves to fit the comfort zones of others. We stop trying to fix dynamics that were never built to hold the real us. We start letting people be who they are—without abandoning ourselves in the process.

    This is not the lonely road it once seemed. It’s the honest one. And while not everyone will walk beside us, the people who remain, or who arrive, will meet us where we actually live—not where we used to hide.

    I’ve been the person who couldn’t see. I’ve been the one clinging to familiar roles and identities. So now that I can see more clearly, I hold compassion—for myself and for others. But I also hold boundaries.

    Because healing doesn’t mean becoming invulnerable. It means becoming true.

    This next chapter of my life isn’t about being accepted. It’s about being real. It’s about speaking my truth even when it’s met with silence, suspicion, or disconnection. It’s about being at peace with not being everyone’s version of “nice.”

    It’s about being the still, grounded presence in a room that once required performance.

    I’m no longer surviving by pleasing. I’m thriving by being.

    I don’t need to be seen to know I’m whole. I don’t need agreement to know I’m aligned. I just need to stay rooted in the truth of who I am, even when that makes others uncomfortable.

    And that is the quiet revolution of healing:
    I can be me—even when they don’t see.
    Even when they don’t stay.
    Even when they don’t understand.

    Because I understand.
    And that’s enough.

    • #ChoitalykRuman

    © ChoitalykRuman, 2025. All rights reserved.
    This content is the intellectual property of the author. Unauthorized use, reproduction, or distribution is strictly prohibited. You may share the link with proper credit.

    Bengali (?????):

    © ????????????, ????? ?????????? ?????????
    ?? ?????? ?????? ?????????? ????????? ?????? ????? ???, ?????? ?? ?????????? ???????????? ???????? ???? ??? ??????? ??????? ??????? ????? ?????? ???? ??????

  • On the Path of Letting Go

    Author ChoitalykRuman

    In the quiet countryside of southern Ohio, tucked between golden wheat fields and rolling hills, lived a young woman named Meghla. She was soft-spoken and thoughtful, with a presence so gentle that the townsfolk often said, “She’s not just a girl—she’s like a passing cloud in a summer sky.”

    Her closest friend since childhood had been Anik—a lively, spontaneous boy who chased butterflies, dreams, and mischief with equal passion. Together, Meghla and Anik were inseparable, like the breeze and the leaves it carried.

    But life has its strange turns.

    One summer, the county fair came to a nearby town. Artists, vendors, and travelers arrived from cities far away. That’s when Anik met Trisha—a city girl with sleek confidence and a sparkle in her eye that turned heads. At first, Meghla didn’t mind. But over time, Anik’s laughter changed tone, his gaze lingered elsewhere, and his time slipped away like sand through her fingers.

    The most painful moment came on their friendship day—a day Meghla held dear for years. She had made a small handmade gift and waited by the edge of the creek that ran behind the fields, where they always met. But Anik never showed up. Later, she learned he had gone to the city with Trisha, without a word.

    A few days later, the wound was pierced deeper when Anik casually said,
    “You’re just too ordinary, Meghla. You won’t understand where I’m headed.”

    She didn’t reply. Her silence that day was louder than tears.

    Seasons changed. Leaves turned gold and fell. But Anik never came back, never apologized, and never asked how she had been.

    One crisp autumn afternoon, Meghla sat by the same creek, staring at the slow-moving water. An old woman, sitting on a wooden bench under a sycamore tree, noticed her. With eyes full of stories and a voice smooth like worn river stones, she spoke gently:

    “Sweetheart, not everyone has the heart you do. Some people don’t ask for forgiveness because they haven’t yet learned what it means. But if you want peace, real peace, then forgive—not for them, but for yourself.”

    Meghla looked down at her reflection in the water, shimmering with fallen leaves. And then, quietly, as if speaking to the wind and her own heart, she whispered:

    “I discovered my inner strength when I chose to forgive someone who never apologized. That decision freed me from the chains of the past.”

    She didn’t cry that day. Instead, her heart felt light—like something had been unfastened, set free.

    From that moment on, Meghla stopped repeating Anik’s name. Not out of bitterness, but because she no longer needed to carry his memory as a wound. Her silence had turned into peace.

    And anyone who passed by the countryside of Ohio, near that quiet creek, would often see a woman sitting by the water with a calm smile on her face—the kind of smile that only comes when someone has finally made peace with their pain.

  • Cherish the Moments Before They Slip Away

    Life moves swiftly, often feeling like a blur of responsibilities, challenges, and unexpected turns. It wasn’t until I experienced a deep moment of loss and reflection that I truly understood how precious time is. I remember a time when I gave my heart to someone, trusted them with my vulnerabilities, and believed they would stand by me in my hardest moments. But when I needed them the most, they weren’t there. The absence stung, leaving behind a hollow space where love once resided.

    I spent days questioning, wondering why love sometimes fails to hold its promise of companionship. At first, I felt pain and disappointment, but then I turned inward. Instead of seeking answers from the outside world, I embarked on a journey within—a journey of self-discovery, healing, and peace.

    I am trying to learn about myself, to live within the sound of my slow breathing, which moves like a soft-feathered bird. It is an extremely peaceful journey within me. As I sit in stillness, closing my physical eyes, I begin to see a magnificent view—not with my sight, but with my soul. Ahh! Feeling joy, happiness, clarity, steadiness, and calmness wash over me as I cleanse—cleansing, cleansing—releasing the weight of past sorrows, letting go of the pain, and expanding my consciousness. I realize that love is not just about who stays or who leaves; it is about the energy we cultivate within ourselves. Love is not something to be begged for—it is something to be radiated.

    And that’s when it hit me. Love is the most powerful door opener to the land of peace. With the key of love, everything becomes possible. Love is a creation, a force of transformation. In the blink of an eye, so much can change. A single careless word can cast a shadow over someone’s day, just as a loving word can brighten it. This is why we must be mindful—radiating love, speaking with kindness, and spreading warmth wherever we go.

    That experience taught me that love is not just about receiving; it is about giving freely, without expectations. If you love someone, let them know—not just through fleeting words, but through actions that leave no doubt. Be present. Show them that they matter. Because the perfect moment is not in the distant future—it is now. If we keep postponing love, we may one day realize its importance, but by then, the moment to express it may have already passed.

    But even beyond loving others, we must first love ourselves. Keep visiting your inner self, for that is where true peace resides. No need to search elsewhere—it is within your heart, waiting to be embraced. When we become love, when we become light, we become a source of peace not just for ourselves, but for the entire world.

    The world needs our love. Let’s give it freely.

    • #ChoitalykRuman
    • #UmmeyMiah

  • The Higher Mind: A Bridge to Inner Wisdom

    We often hear the term “Higher Mind,” but what does it truly mean? The Higher Mind is that deeper part of ourselves that embodies wisdom, self-awareness, and inner strength. It’s the guiding voice that helps us think beyond the present moment, making decisions that align with our core values, morals, and long-term goals. It’s the source of clarity that empowers us to live with purpose and intention.

    This aspect of ourselves is deeply connected to the soul. Think of the Higher Mind as a bridge—a connection between the ego, or “lower mind,” and the spirit. While the ego helps us navigate the material world, the Higher Mind assists us in exploring realms beyond the physical.

    The ego operates through a lens of limitation, seeing the world and others as separate from ourselves. It interprets life through our personal beliefs and perceived limitations. In contrast, the Higher Mind views reality through a lens of unity and infinite possibility.

    When we look through the ego’s perspective, we often see the world and people as divided—unequal, separated by space and circumstances. But the Higher Mind sees things differently. It recognizes that everything is made up of energy, from physical objects to the air we breathe. What the ego perceives as empty space is actually energy, and this energy connects everything.

    Even our thoughts are composed of energy, vibrating at different frequencies. The Higher Mind sees thoughts and physical objects as intertwined, both made from the same substance—energy, just vibrating at different rates. Every thought, every object has its own unique frequency, but they are all fundamentally part of the same energetic whole.

    By tuning into the Higher Mind, we open ourselves to this broader perspective, moving beyond the ego’s limitations to experience the deeper connections that unite us with everything around us.

    Examples of Ego vs. Higher Mind

    Consider how we experience conflict with others. When operating from the ego, we often feel hurt, defensive, or angry. The ego views the disagreement as a personal attack, reinforcing the idea of separation between “me” and “them.” However, when we engage the Higher Mind, we see beyond the surface. We begin to understand the other person’s emotions, motivations, and perspectives, recognizing that we are all connected by a shared humanity. In this state, we approach conflict with compassion, seeking understanding instead of division.

    Another example can be found in decision-making. The ego tends to focus on immediate, self-centered desires. Imagine someone is offered a promotion at work that comes with more money but also more stress and longer hours. The ego might jump at the chance because it values status and material gain. However, the Higher Mind might pause to consider the long-term effects on well-being and relationships, guiding the person to make a decision that aligns with their values and ultimate happiness, rather than short-term rewards.

    In terms of creativity, the ego often stifles ideas with fear of judgment or failure. A person may have a strong desire to start a new project but stops themselves because the ego fears ridicule or rejection. The Higher Mind, however, sees creative expression as an unfolding of one’s true self and encourages the person to take action without worrying about external validation. It allows ideas to flow freely, trusting in the process rather than being attached to the outcome.

    Finally, think about how we perceive success. From an ego-driven viewpoint, success is often tied to external achievements—money, recognition, or titles. But the Higher Mind understands that true success is internal. It’s about personal growth, fulfillment, and living in alignment with our deeper purpose. This shift in perspective allows us to find peace and contentment regardless of external circumstances, as we realize that success is a state of being rather than something to attain.

    By learning to tap into the Higher Mind more frequently, we can navigate life with a sense of unity, purpose, and clarity, free from the limitations imposed by the ego. This shift in perception transforms how we interact with the world, leading to more meaningful and fulfilling experiences.

    ‘#ChoitalykRuman #ummeymiah

  • The Struggle is Resistance: Embracing the Power of Your Breath

    These are confusing times. It’s no surprise if you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed. Life seems to be demanding more from us than ever, pulling us in multiple directions. But in the midst of this chaos, there is one constant—a gentle reminder that we are still alive, that we still have power within us: our breath.

    Take a deep breath now. Feel the air entering your body. Imagine that, with every inhale, you are drawing in vitality, strength, and clarity. Your breath is always a reflection of you. It tells the story of where you are in this moment.

    Now, pause. Observe this inhale without judgment, without trying to change it. How do you feel? Does your breath come easily? Is it nourishing, or does it feel strained? When our breath feels restricted, it’s often a sign that we’re struggling with life’s pressures, feeling as if we can’t take in enough—enough air, enough peace, enough balance.

    And that’s okay.

    The key here is to observe rather than judge. Be curious about what your breath is telling you. Now, let’s move to the exhale. Just as the inhale represents our ability to take in life, the exhale reflects how we let go. Are you able to release the air gently, or do you feel like you’re forcing it out? Do you hold on tightly to your breath, to your stress, to your thoughts?

    Exhaling is about letting go—not just of air but of tension, negativity, and everything we no longer need. With each breath out, imagine releasing the weight that burdens your heart and mind. When you learn to exhale fully and with ease, you create space for balance and peace.

    In this moment, be gentle with yourself. Life can be noisy and confusing, but you are not alone. You are a child of the universe, a miraculous creation of the Divine—yes, the One God. You are no less a part of this universe than the trees, the stars, or the vast oceans. And just like them, you have a place in this world.

    When life becomes overwhelming, remember to keep peace in your soul. Return to your heart, because your heart is your true home, an endless ocean of love, kindness, tenderness, and compassion. That place within you is where you recharge, where your soul finds nourishment. Visit it often.

    If I can do this, so can you. We all have untapped potential within us, waiting to be discovered. The beauty of life is that this journey of self-discovery is always available to us, even in the most challenging times. All you need to do is breathe, pause, and remember who you are.

  • Unveiling the Hidden Garden Within: A Journey of Self-Discovery

    Within the depths of our being lies a hidden treasure, a sanctuary of the soul known as the secret garden. This sacred space, untouched by the chaos of the external world, remains veiled for much of our lives, accessible only during fleeting moments of introspection and daydreaming. Yet, its existence whispers to us, inviting us to delve deeper into the realms of our imagination and to uncover the profound beauty it holds.

    For many, the secret garden represents a haven of creativity and inspiration, a place where thoughts intertwine with dreams and reality blurs into fantasy. It is in these quiet moments of contemplation that we catch glimpses of its splendor, fleeting visions that stir the soul and ignite the imagination.

    However, the allure of the secret garden extends beyond mere fantasy. It holds the promise of transformation, inviting us to cultivate its landscapes and nurture its flora with the seeds of our intentions. For within its confines lies the power to manifest our deepest desires and to bring forth the beauty of our innermost selves into the light of day.But how do we unlock the gates to this hidden realm? The answer lies in the art of mindfulness and self-discovery. By quieting the noise of the outside world and turning inward, we can begin to explore the vast expanse of our inner landscape, allowing the secret garden to reveal itself to us in all its splendor.

    In this journey of self-exploration, meditation and reflection serve as our guides, leading us deeper into the recesses of our consciousness where the secret garden resides. Through these practices, we learn to cultivate a deeper connection to our inner world, nurturing the seeds of creativity and imagination that lie dormant within us.

    As we tend to the garden of our soul, we may encounter obstacles along the way—doubt, fear, and self-limiting beliefs that threaten to overshadow its beauty. Yet, it is through these challenges that we discover our true strength and resilience, learning to navigate the twists and turns of our inner landscape with courage and grace.

    In the pursuit of bringing our secret garden to life, we must also embrace the power of intention and visualization. By setting clear intentions and visualizing our desired outcomes, we can plant the seeds of manifestation within the fertile soil of our imagination, allowing them to take root and flourish over time.

    But perhaps the greatest gift of the secret garden is its capacity to inspire and uplift not only ourselves but those around us as well. As we tend to its blossoms and nurture its growth, we become beacons of light and hope in a world often shrouded in darkness, sharing the beauty of our inner world with all who cross our path.

    In the end, the secret garden serves as a reminder of the infinite potential that resides within each of us—a sanctuary of the soul where dreams take flight and possibilities are endless. It is a place of refuge and renewal, a source of inspiration and wonder that beckons us to explore its depths and uncover the hidden treasures that lie within. So let us heed the call of the secret garden, embracing the journey of self-discovery with open hearts and open minds, for therein lies the true magic of life itself.

    • #ChoitalykRuman

  • Discovering the Symphony of Existence: A Journey for Self-Discovery and Connection

    Photo: ChoitalykRuman (selfie)

    In the bustling rhythm of our daily lives, it’s easy to lose sight of the profound interconnectedness that binds us all together. Yet, if we pause for a moment and listen closely, we can hear the subtle melody of our shared existence – the beat of our hearts echoing in harmony with the universe.

    Imagine for a moment that each heartbeat is a note in a grand symphony, weaving together the intricate tapestry of life. In this symphony, we are not isolated individuals, but rather interconnected threads in the fabric of existence. Our experiences, our joys, and our sorrows are all part of this universal composition, each contributing to the richness of the whole.

    At the core of this interconnectedness lies the journey of experience – the process through which we attain knowledge and understanding. Every moment, every encounter, offers us an opportunity to learn and grow, to deepen our connection to the world and to each other.

    But amidst the complexities of existence, it’s important to remember the power of gentleness – both towards others and towards ourselves. In a world that often seems harsh and unforgiving, acts of kindness and compassion become revolutionary gestures, illuminating the path towards understanding and empathy.

    When we extend compassion to others, we acknowledge the inherent humanity that unites us all, regardless of our differences. We recognize that each individual is on their own journey, navigating the complexities of life with courage and resilience. And in extending that same compassion inward, we nurture our own souls with self-love and acceptance, embracing our flaws and imperfections as integral parts of our humanity.

    But perhaps the greatest power we possess is the power of choice – the ability to consciously shape the person we want to be. In every moment, we have the opportunity to choose kindness over cruelty, empathy over indifference, and love over fear. By embracing these virtues, we not only enrich our own lives but also contribute to the collective symphony of existence, spreading harmony and understanding wherever we go

    .So let us listen closely to the beat of our hearts, for it is the song of our shared humanity. Let us embrace the journey of experience, knowing that each moment holds the potential for growth and connection. And let us choose each day, to be the architects of a more compassionate and understanding world – one heartbeat at a time.

  • Divine God dwelling within us

    In the depth of our being, God resides, enveloped in the quietude that transforms into prayer. As we unfurl the gates of our hearts to welcome the day’s blessings, we find the divine presence within. Embracing life in its entirety, with all its magnificence, even amidst our imperfections, misunderstandings, and froth, becomes a testament to gratitude — acknowledging each moment as a cherished gift from God.

    As we open the chambers of our hearts, an exchange unfolds—a dance between our vulnerabilities and the blessings that grace our journey. Each heartbeat becomes a rhythmic cadence, a harmonious dialogue between our human experience and the transcendental nature of God’s presence.

    Acceptance, a profound act of surrender, becomes the bridge that spans the chasm between our flawed humanity and the boundless perfection of divine grace. Through the lens of acceptance, we find the courage to embrace the full spectrum of life—the highs and lows, the clarity and confusion—knowing that each nuance is a brushstroke in the masterpiece of our existence.

    Gratitude, the sweet nectar of the soul, blossoms as we recognize every breath, every trial, and every joy as a bestowed gift from the divine source. With an open heart, we navigate the currents of life, acknowledging that the unfolding narrative is not just our own but a collaborative creation with the divine orchestrator, who dwells within and around us, a constant companion on the sacred pilgrimage of existence.

    In the grand tapestry of life, our misunderstandings and fleeting froth are not detriments but rather threads intricately woven into the fabric of our journey. It is through these threads that the vibrant hues of resilience and growth emerge, painting a picture of transformation guided by the divine hand.

    By ChoitalykRuman 01/23/2024

    #ChoitalykRuman

  • The Power of Self-Discovery and Compassion in Creating a Better World

    In the intricate tapestry of existence, we often find that understanding ourselves is the cornerstone of contributing meaningfully to the well-being of others. Imagine a small village nestled between rolling hills, where a young woman named Maya embarked on a journey of self-discovery. Through introspection, she realized that she embodied the essence of omnipresent reality and compassion. This newfound self-awareness became the catalyst for her transformation into a beacon of positive influence.

    Maya’s story reflects a universal truth – that genuine change begins from within. As she embraced her identity as the embodiment of life and consciousness, an undeniable aura of compassion enveloped her. The villagers sensed this transformation, and a ripple effect ensued. Acts of kindness and empathy became the norm, fostering a sense of unity and harmony within the community.

    The impact extended beyond the village borders. Maya’s radiance reached neighboring communities, inspiring others to embark on their own journeys of self-discovery. The interconnectedness of these personal revelations transformed the collective consciousness, gradually making the entire region a better place to live. Through her example, Maya demonstrated that when individuals tap into their authentic selves and cultivate compassion, they become catalysts for positive change on a broader scale.

    Maya’s story teaches us that understanding oneself is not a solitary endeavor; rather, it’s a ripple that can create waves of transformation. The world becomes a better place when individuals, like Maya, become conscious embodiments of compassion. As each person contributes their unique energy to this collective endeavor, the synergy of self-discovery and compassion has the power to shape a more harmonious and compassionate world for everyone.